After the Trojan War- Hock Tjoa

One of the things I love best about interviewing other Historical Fiction authors, is that you learn what stories obsess them, and how they view these stories through whatever personal experiences they have. Case in point, if I told you there was an Asian-American author whose previous book was a translation of  Chinese romances, would you expect their latest book to be about the Trojan War?

See what I mean?

Hock TjoaHistory teacher, banker, finance executive–Hock Tjoa has turned to writing for
his “third act.” He published The Battle of Chibi, (if you ever saw the movie Red Cliffs, that’s the story)  
selections from The Romance of the Three Kingdoms that he translated in 2010 and Agamemnon Must Die in 2014. He is married and lives in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada in California.

 

Seems to me that the definitive book on the Trojan War was done a while ago. What’s this story about?

The “mother of all wars” (the Trojan War) is over. All the people of Mycenae want is peace and normalcy. But the gods have a crowded agenda for them. There will be blood and pain, even quarrels among the gods.
The royal family of Mycenae has a bloody, monstrous history. Agamemnon returns with his war trophy, the Trojan Princess Cassandra, whom he unthinkingly flaunts before his queen. After an epic sword fight in his own banquet hall, Agamemnon is killed. Cassandra has her nightmares/visions of the gory and unspeakable deeds of the House of Atreus; she is led away to be executed. Clytemnestra and her lover Aegisthus have their respective reasons, but this regicide must be avenged. Or so say the voices in Orestes’ head. He must avenge his father. He must kill the regicides. He must kill his own mother.
Hmmm, no wonder so many neurotic syndromes have Greek names. There’s a lot going on there. What inspired you to write this particular book? Why this story?
The story is based on the Oresteia, the sole surviving classical Greek trilogy, by Aeschylus. I was assigned (an English translation of) this book in a humanities course at college with the introduction that this was a key work, a part of the foundation of Western civilization, etc.. I did not get it (just as I did not get Moby Dick).
Over the years I have read almost every translation that has appeared, hoping for the light to go on. I decided a few years ago, to write this story myself, as I understood it and not necessarily as my professors might have wished.
Sounds like there’s probably a Greek name for that kind of thinking but we’ll leave that to a therapist. What’s your favorite scene in the book?

Hm, every scene was difficult to write and a delight in the end, but I’ll pick the

Agamemnon Must Die, by Hock Tjoa.
Agamemnon Must Die, by Hock Tjoa.

chapter that deals with Cassandra, a minor character with an unusual gift and a sad fate. It also includes portions in verse, something that I experimented with in this book.

You can find Agamemnon Must Die and Hock’s other work here:

Elgin Literary Festival January 29-30

I am thrilled to be part of two panel discussions and a book signing at the Elgin Literary Festival January 29-30 in Elgin, IL.

Join us at the Elgin Literary Festival January 29-30
Join us at the Elgin Literary Festival January 29-30

I’ll be part of a panel on “How your real job influences your writing” as well as one on various methods of publishing.  I’ll also be talking about how working with a “middle way” publisher like The Book Folks helped me get The Count of the Sahara out into the world.

The Count of the Sahara is now available in Kindle format. Also available in paperback from Amazon or direct from the publisher.
The Count of the Sahara is now available in Kindle format. Also available in paperback from Amazon or direct from the publisher.

Not for nothing, but I’ll also be signing and (hopefully) selling the book as well.

Join us!

From the Silly Dreams Come True Department- Writer’s Digest

Like many fledgling writers, I have spent a lot of years reading Writers Digest. From the early 80s til last month, I would read the articles and think, “Man, you must really know what you’re doing to get an article published. Wish I could.”

Know what? It happened. November 23rd’s Online Edition, Brian Klems’ column has an article by yours truly: “6 Ways Standup Comedy Can Make You a Better Writer”

 

Hey, I'm in Writers Digest just like a real writer.
Hey, I’m in Writers Digest just like a real writer.

Fact is, while 15 years of my life looks like a black hole on my business resume, nothing has prepared me in life like the time I spent telling jokes to drunk people for a living. I’m happy to have shared the lessons learned with other writers.

Has anything really changed as a result? Probably not. I may have sold a few more copies of Count of the Sahara (in Kindle, of course, because other writers are as broke as I am.) Am I a better writer for having done this? Did I make any money on it? Did my ego really need more reinforcing that doesn’t actually improve my lot in life? The answers to all those are a big old no.

The weird part? Someone out there is reading that, envying me. Life is strange, huh?

 

The Count of the Sahara Gets Honorable Mention, 2015 Great Midwest Book Festival

What a nice surprise. The Count of the Sahara has been awarded Honorable Mention as “General fiction book of the year” at the 2015 Great Midwest Book Festival.

Below is the book’s place on their Table of Honor Page.

The Count of the Sahara took an "Honorable Mention" for the 2015 Great Midwest Book Festival.
The Count of the Sahara took an “Honorable Mention” for the 2015 Great Midwest Book Festival.

It’s so gratifying that the reviews have been overwhelmingly positive, if a bit mixed. If you’ve enjoyed the story, please tell the world on Amazon or Goodreads.

Oh and my favorite review so far? A 4-star that started with “I liked this book and I don’t know why…”

Janet Squires and the Old West (Arizona Edition)

One of the most mythologized/lied about/ accurately reported periods in history is the opening of the American West. So much that’s true is fascinating and so much of what is “known” is uhhhhhhh utter nonsense. That said, it’s ripe for good historical fiction. That’s where Janet Squires comes in.

Janet Squires looking incredibly Western-ish.
Janet Squires looking incredibly Western-ish.

She began her career writing short stories and nonfiction articles for national periodicals. However, my work as a Library Media Specialist for a school district inspired me to shift by attention to children’s books. Her first picture book, The Gingerbread Cowboy, is the Arizona Governor’s 2007 first grade book. A special edition of 100,000 copies was printed and distributed to every first grade student in the state.

Since then she’s broadened her focus and now writes fiction and nonfiction for both children and adults, which brings us to her novel, “Desperate Straits”  She teaches writing workshops, volunteers for literacy events at libraries and schools, tend a large organic garden. In whatever time she has left, she likes to saddle up and ride, or hike with her dog.

Okay, so in a nutshell, what’s “Desperate Straits” about?

Irish immigrant Sarah Ryan’s hope for a new life in the Arizona Territory is shattered in an instant by gunfire. Suddenly, she has to rebuild an uncertain future with her orphaned nephew, Will, and take on the challenges of a cattle ranch. Just when order returns, veteran lawman, L.T. McAllister rides in. He’s a dangerous man determined to do what’s right regardless of the personal cost. L.T. believes himself ready for anything until he meets Sarah. Her ideas about the man he’s become soon pit his lifetime of duty against desire.

Desperate Straits is her first novel about the settling of Arizona
Desperate Straits is her first novel about the settling of Arizona

L.T.’s and Sarah’s loyalty to Will catapults them into a life for which neither one is prepared. When L.T. and Sarah stand between one man and his obsession with the Lost Adam’s Gold,  they trigger a firestorm of retaliation. Kidnapping and murder escalates into a battle for justice… and their lives.

What is it about that time period you find so fascinating? 

The American frontier has always been a passion for me. I grew up listening to tales of how my Irish/Cherokee ancestors pioneered their way West as ranchers, miners, and lawmen. Later, research into my family history uncovered personal accounts of life in the eighteen hundreds — Kentucky during the civil war — wagon trains from Texas — lives that inspired me with examples of fortitude, courage, and humor. Frontier life is personal for me.

One of my fondest childhood memories is waking in a creaky old iron bed to the sound of my Dad chopping wood so Grandma could cook breakfast on the wood burning stove she used til the day she died. I’m a daughter of the West… it’s the place where I’m at home.

Without giving away spoilers, what’s your favorite scene in the book?

Oh, wow…this is a tough question. Certainly, one of my favorite events is Sarah’s arrival in the Arizona Territory from Ireland. She defends herself against a shotgun wielding ranch hand with nothing but a broom, teaches herself to ride astride, and confronts the challenge of befriending her newly orphaned nephew. Each trial speaks to Sarah’s strength of character, courage, quick wits, and sense of humor. A quick poll of some of the men who’ve read my book puts L.T.’s action scenes at the top of their favorites list.

Men, what’re you gonna do with them? Where can people learn more about you and your work?

People can learn more about me and my books through these Social Media Outlets —

Website: http://www.janetsquiresbooks.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/janetsquiresbooks?ref=hl

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Janet-Squires/e/B001IGQIQK/ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_1?qid=1445792569&sr=8-1

Blog: All About the Books with Janet Squires: http://janetsquires.blogspot.com/

Twitter: Janet Squires Author@Janet Squires

I’m also on GoodReads and Riffle.

Smart Answer to a Silly Question: Chris Northern and “Why Rome?”

In a moment of snark in a previous post, I posed the question, “Why does it seem like every other historical fiction novel is set in ancient Rome?” (By the way, Rome is the new Middle Ages if the list of new books is any indication.) This is not terribly new in traditional “histfic”, but there are more and more fantasy books set in this time as well.  In a Goodreads discussion, author Chris Northern, author of the Price of Freedom/Freedom’s Fool series took me to task.

I asked him, using small words that even I could understand, to explain why that was. Here’s his answer. Enjoy.

I enjoy the mix of history and fantasy, but some people are uneasy with it. Why do you think they go together so well?

History and Fantasy are tied together by numerous silken threads. Fantasy develops naturally from history for the simple reason that a fantasy social and

Chris Northern explains the fascination with the Roman Empire
Chris Northern explains the fascination with the Roman Empire

political structure must be based on something, and picking a historical period is the simplest method available. The high medieval period has been the default choice for a good while, but it has become far more common to reach further afield geographically and temporally for a framework to define fantasy stories.

 

And we are kind of burned out on the pretend-medieval theme, I grant you.  So why Rome?

Rome is not one commonly used, but for me it was the most obvious choice. When I first settled to write The Last King’s Amulet, the first novel The Price of Freedom/Freedom’s Fool fantasy series, I desired a background where a central, magically powerful state expanded and contracted in cycles, more or less at the whims of a ruling class that were competing with each other as much or more than they were with other nations. I also had in mind a fantasy Falco, the protagonist of the murder mystery series by Lindsey Davis. The adoption of the Roman Republic seemed natural enough, and has defined the series ever since.
Ancient Rome burns bright in European and World History for more reasons than I can begin to address here, though I will make every effort to touch on as many as possible. To begin with, though little noted, is that it is one of the few cultures to so obviously encompass a complete cycle of political development and decay to its own self-destruction. Beginning as a Kingdom, transitioning into a Republic, Democracy and enduring a surprisingly long time as an Imperial Dictatorship as stubbornly maintained economic incompetence corroded the wealth of the empire to the point that the difference between the Barbarians and Rome itself was wafer thin when the latter swamped the former and the Dark Ages ensued.
The centralisation of power, the physical and social isolation of an increasingly centralised ruling class, the drift away from pragmatic response to economic and political problems… these are all things that led to the downfall of Rome as geopolitical power, and are all echoed in modern times, which I think is one of the reasons there has been a resurgence in interest in Rome. We see the decline of Rome going on around us on a daily basis – for Rome, read Washington, London, Brussels, concentrations of powerful individuals living in an echo chamber where voices of dissent are marginalised. No one told the Emperor Diocletion that his ‘great new idea’ of universal price fixing on all goods was a terrible idea because no one around him knew any better, all potential voices of dissent having been removed from the ruling society. We see that our own society, now more-or-less global, has its own systemic problems that will not be address, that cannot be addressed, because of the prevailing culture of advancement only of those who accept the ruling elite’s views.
So basically, it’s easy to make analogies…..
Much is made of the military might of Rome, the invulnerable Legions, with little reference to the fact that the Legions fought well in significant part because they were, as individuals, advantaged economically by the society they were fighting to protect and expand. When that advantage was no longer a factor – token coinage that had no value and a shattered economy that offered little in the way of goods to purchase – the soldiery ceased to be invested in winning battles. It is also little mentioned that one of the primary reasons the Republic and early Empire won wars even though they routinely lost battles, was because they always had enough wealth in reserve to raise more armies. War is never a cheap undertaking and if a nation simply does not have a robust economy that generates wealth, wars are less likely to be successfully prosecuted. Lost wars cause loss of territory, confidence and social cohesion, as well as cause further economic difficulties.
One title of the Freedoms Fool series
One title of the Freedoms Fool series

Still, Rome burns bright in history as one of the longest lasting empires, territories of economic and social stability, that the world has ever seen. Little wonder that it resurfaces in the collective psyche when our own times become increasing unstable. Perhaps we recognise the parallels and subconsciously fear Rome’s ultimate fate – a decent into barbarism and poverty that we know can persist for centuries. Not a cheery thought, but perhaps one worth a little more than a passing glance.

Thanks, I’m smarter now than when I started…… Where can people learn more?
The Price of Freedom (Freedom’s Fool) consists of four novels, to date: The Last King’s Amulet, The Key To The Grave, The Invisible Hand, and All the King’s Bastards.

The Count of the Sahara is FREE this week on Kindle

Hey all. The Count of the Sahara is available in both paperback and Kindle, but if you’re a Kindle reader–or know people who load up their Kindle for cheap

The cover of The Count of the Sahara available now FREE  in Kindle format for the next week. Also available in paperback from Amazon or direct from the publisher.
The cover of The Count of the Sahara available now FREE in Kindle format for the next week. Also available in paperback from Amazon or direct from the publisher.

(guilty!) please spread the word.

If you wonder why a publisher would give an ebook away, so was I. Then I looked at my sales ranking an hour after the announcement:

Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #6,837 Free in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Free in Kindle Store)

I’m going to assume Erik and the folks at TheBookFolks.com know what they’re about. If you’ve read it and enjoyed it, please tell your friends, fellow readers and the world.

Deborah Lincoln- Family Roots in Old Missouri

I’m always fascinated by (and somewhat jealous of) people who can draw upon their family histories as the jumping-off place for historical fiction. That’s because I know embarrassingly little about my own roots. I mean, I had ancestors, I just don’t know anything beyond the fact I must have had great grandparents. Deborah Lincoln, on the other hand,  has used family history to write her tale of Missouri before the US Civil War, “Agnes Canon’s War.”

Deborah Lincoln lives and writes in Oregon
Deborah Lincoln lives and writes in Oregon

Deborah Lincoln has lived on the Central Oregon Coast for ten years. S. She and her husband have three grown sons. She was awarded first place in the 2013 Chanticleer Laramie Awards (best in category) and was a 2015 finalist for a Willa Award in historical fiction presented by Women Writing the West.

So tell us what the book’s about?

Agnes Canon’s War is the fictionalized story of my great great-grandparents’ experiences during the Civil War in Missouri. Agnes Canon is 28 and a spinster when she leaves her home in Pennsylvania in the spring of 1852 to join a group of cousins who traveled to frontier Holt County in northwest Missouri. There she meets and marries Jabez Robinson, a doctor who was born in Maine and had traveled to the California gold fields and the army posts of the Southwest during the Mexican-American War. In the decade before the Civil War actually breaks out, both Kansas and Missouri are a battleground of politics and acts of violence, and Agnes and Jabez are in the thick of it. This is the story of two people who watch their family, their town, everything that keeps a society civil, crumble into a chaos they are powerless to stop.

What is it about this time period that intrigued you enough to write the book?

I had access to the basic facts of my ancestors’ lives, which were compiled by a cousin in the 1970s. The characters were so exceptional, the events so

Agnes Canon's War draws on her own family history
Agnes Canon’s War draws on her own family history

extraordinary, that I didn’t want the story to die out. Agnes seemed to me to stand out from other nineteenth-century women, in that she chose to turn her back on her family home in Pennsylvania and venture into the unknown. She left behind six siblings, none of whom ever married or bore children, so her marriage and children were the only links to the next generation.

Jabez, too, was a fascinating and even romantic character: though he was born and raised in Maine, he held secessionist views during the Civil War and suffered from them. He was an adventurer, too, traveling to California and the Southwest in the 1840s, becoming a doctor in the face of all sorts of challenges, marrying his first love after a ten-year separation only to lose her within two months of the wedding. The “plot” was tailor-made for a novel, and though I left out lots of events and made up others, I hope I did them justice.

Without setting off the spoiler alert, what’s your favorite scene?

Several of my favorite scenes would give away too much. So I’ll choose an early one: a scene set in Cincinnati where Agnes and Jabez meet for the first time, an accidental encounter at a marketplace along the riverfront. I like it for the sense of being suspended between civilization and frontier, for the colorful characters and the bustle and excitement of an exuberant young town. It mirrors Agnes’s hope for and optimism in her future.

Where can people find your award-winning book?

Agnes Canon’s War is available on

Website:        http://www.deborahlincoln.org

GoodReads:  https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/21882293-agnes-canon-s-war

Facebook:      https://www.facebook.com/deborahslincoln?fref=ts

Twitter:          @dslincoln51

It’s not based on my family, but if you enjoy historical fiction,you can check out The Count of the Sahara, available on Amazon or from The Book Folks

Jacqueline Beard and a Suffragette Murder Mystery

Sometimes it’s hard to believe that our great grandmothers had to fight for the right to vote, and that meant fight. Those Suffragettes were some bad-ass women, and God bless’em for it. British author Jacqueline Beard has written a novel that captures the tension of that time, and combines it with a murder mystery to paint a picture of the beginning and end of the Victorian age.

So what’s the Jacqueline Beard story?

Jacqueline Beard, author of Vote for Murder
Jacqueline Beard, author of Vote for Murder

 

I’m a writer and genealogist, and have traced my family back to 1517 in the county of Suffolk in England.  I now live in the beautiful Cotswolds in Gloucestershire but visit Suffolk often. I am married with two children and a delinquent border terrier.

So give us a quick idea of what your book’s about.

Vote for Murder is a tale of two murders.  A census night evasion has been planned in Ipswich following years of fruitless campaigning which left the suffragettes no closer to gaining the vote.  When Louisa Russell finds an old diary, it leads to revelations about a Victorian Suffolk murderess. Louisa finds herself involved in suffragette protests while investigating two horrific murders – and the murderer is getting too close for comfort.

What is it about that time frame–actually frames, since you’re going back and forth– that intrigues you?

Where to start!  Victorian murderess Mary Cage appears in my own family tree.  She confessed to wicked, immoral behavior but despite all the evidence against her, she always denied murdering her husband.  Mary lived in abject poverty in a society where the only help for the destitute was the workhouse.  I wanted to get under her skin to work out how much the poverty contributed to her depravity.

The second murder involved a family of suffragists.  My genealogy also includes middle class suffragists Ada and Bessie Ridley who had close connections to Millicent Fawcett, leader of the National Union of Women’s Suffrage Societies.  I find the various factions of the suffragette movement fascinating; Millicent Fawcett’s mainly peaceful suffragists on the one hand and Emmeline Pankhurst’s militant suffragettes on the other.  My book is set in 1911 when many suffragists throughout the UK hid themselves away to avoid the 1911 census.  It was a peaceful protest but it wasn’t long before British suffragettes were chaining themselves to railings, performing acts of vandalism and breaking the law where they felt it necessary. Vote for murder contrasts the poverty of the 1851 murder with the relative wealth of the families in the 1911 murder.  Interestingly there’s a Meryl Streep film coming out shortly called Suffragette.  I will be first in the queue to see this at the cinema!

What’s your favorite scene in the book?

Vote for Murder covers two fascinating eras of British history
Vote for Murder covers two fascinating eras of British history

It’s not so much a scene, as a change of perspective.  The book is written in three voices but the one I enjoyed writing the most was that of Mary Cage as she described, in her own words, the events that led her to the gallows, writing her personality to alter according to events.  It was interesting to use the language and words prevalent in Victorian times and there were several colloquialisms peculiar to Suffolk that I was able to insert for authenticity.  I researched real newspaper extracts of the murder and kept faithfully to the story while developing Mary’s fictional character.

 

Vote for Murder can be found at Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com and in paperback at Lulu.com

Jacqueline’s Blog:        https://jacquelinebeardwriter.wordpress.com/

Twitter:   @Jacquibwriter

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/VFM1851

 

 

Short Story: On the Rail

Every year, the Naperville Writers Group publishes an anthology of members’ works called “Rivulets.” This story will be in the 2015 version, “Rivulets 27,” due out October 3. You can join us for the launch party. Click here for details.

It began as a writing exercise: Could I capture everything that goes through someone’s mind during just the 2 minutes of a horse race? I leave it up to you whether I’ve succeeded. Please enjoy.

Can't imagine where the idea for a story featuring a 50-ish , slightly jaded, cigar-smoking railbird came from....
Can’t imagine where the idea for a story featuring a 50-ish , slightly jaded, cigar-smoking railbird came from….

On the Rail

     “And they’re off, and Billy’s Buddy takes the lead off the rail followed by Pleazpleazpleaz, Penzance Pirate and BarTab…”

I love to hang over the rail and lean in just so I can feel them passing by, the vibrations running through the ground, along the rail and up my arms. God I love this game.

Broke even so far but this is the race, I can feel it in my bones…. One and four. That’s the exacta. Four’s the favorite, what’s the name… oh yeah, what’s it say on the ticket, Billy’s Buddy, and he looks like chalk—only real horse in the race. Runs like a champ on the outside, with that white paint sploosh on his forehead and the jock in all blue silks and already up by a nose. Velasquez—top jockey at the track so he gets the best rides, no secret there.  Best riders, best rides, should be an easy winner against these dogs. Can’t make any money with favorites though.

Let’s check the slip, one and four for the exacta. Oh, Jesus, what’s the name of that…. RoundtheHorn, and I can get a really good look at the nag because he’s all by himself at the back of the pack. COME ON ALREADY, MOVE IT. Gimme a little love here for crying out loud.

     “At the quarter pole, it’s Billy’s Buddy, Perfect Pitch a length back, with Bar Tab running on the outside…”

      I can’t hear the rest because the perky little cheerleader in the floppy-ass hat with the, what is that a peacock feather? It ain’t Derby Day little girl, stop screaming. “Come on Bar Tab”, Sweet Jesus H Christ on a crooked crutch what is she six years old? I swear she just called him a “horsey”.  Look at her, maybe twenty one, and all her brains inside her sweater. And that hipster boyfriend of hers, what a piece of work he is, a real mook.

And RoundtheHorn trails going into the quarter pole…”

Come on, pick it up. It’s okay, I have’m boxed. Four horse can win long as one horse comes second… doesn’t pay as much but RoundtheHorn’s fifteen to one, so that’s four fifty plus the exacta…. We hit and it’s a mortgage payment. Make a move you frickin’ nag….

Look at that little dipshit she’s with. No one under forty should smoke cigars, it makes the little frat boy SOB look like he’s wearing his daddy’s clothes. Playing grownup and thinks he looks like Sinatra in that hat. Yeah, maybe Frank Junior. Jeez, I got concert T shirts older than this punk. And daddy’s got money, sure as God made little green apples. Why else would a little hottie like that…

Come on, one horse, you’re supposed to be a stalker. ‘Course so was Ted Bundy and look how that worked out….

Oh hell, they’re behind the scoreboard, check the screen. Those little circles with the numbers on them are moving around, changing position except for one… that little green circle with the 1 on it is still behind everyone else. You’re supposed to be a closer…. Coffee’s for closers, can I get you an espresso, you stupid can of dog food? Make a move damn you!

     “And off the turn, it’s Billy’s Buddy with Bar Tab two lengths back, Penzance Pirate and Perfect Pitch”

I can’t hear the announcer for that girl screaming and bouncing around. She picked him ‘cause she liked the name. Well of course she did.  And she’s proud of it, too. Sure didn’t look at his PP, and who bets a grey horse? Freakin’ amateur night. Didn’t daddy teach her nothing?

This is a numbers game, it’s science, and the numbers say he likes to close so make a move, Jose, come on, let him go. Let’s see, so Four horse wins and Round the Horn can comes second if he actually makes a FREAKING MOVE BEFORE DINNER.  Numbers don’t lie, he ran a hell of a final quarter last time out. I can’t read my form right now ‘cause it’s all crumpled up in my fist and I’m beating it on the railing. Yeah, that’ll make him run faster, you dumbass.

It’s Billy’s Buddy by a length, Penzance Pirate and Bar Tab with Booboo Kitty and RoundtheHorn moving on the outside…”

Come on Four you gotta hold on. I knew that jockey let you go too fast, you shouldn’t be front running… Velasquez knows better than that. Okay but one horse is making his move come on baby, that’s it… grind it, grind it….. Come on, one and four, one and four…..

She just won’t shut up, will she? And look at the way she looks at him. She wins on that little two dollar bet of hers and he’s in for a hell of a night. Hardly fair but that’s life, right? I could win the Triple Crown three times at ninety to one and never get a chick like that. Hell, even when I was hot Sheila never gave a…..

Alright about time, he made a move. The outside’s clear. Attaboy, what’s he sitting now, third? COMEON….

And at the last turn, it’s Billy’s Buddy, BarTab and Round the Horn, followed by Penzance Pirate and BoobooKitty”

Make a move, make a move. Four horse, what are you doing? You can’t let up for Chrissakes . I know you got something left in the tank. Hold off that gray piece of….

      “It’s BarTab and Billy’s Buddy, Billy’s Buddy and Bar Tab, neck and neck with RoundtheHorn and Penzance Pirate as they near the finish line…”

Come on, one and four, four and one I don’t care just finish it. Oh honey, give it a rest, your horse hasn’t got a….

And it’s BarTab, with Billy’s Buddy and RoundtheHorn, followed by BoobooKitty, Penzance Pirate…..”

Is there a challenge?  Let there be a challenge. Course not, God hates me, always has. Why toss me a bone now?  Place and Show isn’t good for a damned thing.  Crap, shouldn’t litter, I’ll drop it in the basket on my way to the window.

Sweet Jesus, what’s she gonna suck his face off? Let him breathe babygirl, he might need the oxygen later. And what’d she win, like nine bucks? What would she do to him if she hit a real long shot?  Kid wouldn’t live to tell the tale.

Second and third…beat by a…’cause she liked the name…. Christ, amateurs are ruining this game.

Okay who’s up in the fifth?

You can find my new novel, The Count of the Sahara at my publisher’s website or at Amazon.com